Something for everyone

I wish I had traveled before going to grad school.

I wish you would dump your douchebag of a boyfriend. He treats you like an animal. No one likes him. I will never like him. And if you stay where you are for him, I won't be friends with you anymore.

I wish you would dump your stupid girlfriend. Nothing against her really, except for the fact that your relationship is at a stalemate and you don't have the confidence to dump her and be on your own for a while. That, and the fact that I think we'd make a much better couple.

I wish your life amounted to more than just some kid you've been dating for a month. I also wish you'd stop texting me about your sex life with him.

I wish you'd fucking pack your shit and move out of Arkansas. Soulmates.

I wish you wouldn't go to Hawaii. But I am happy you get to explore your dreams.

I wish you weren't so goddamn successful. I wish you knew what it's like to struggle, even if just for a short amount of your life.

I wish you had told me to wait, or that this program wasn't exactly for me. I could have done without the 4 months of "where do I go next?", plus the 8 months of constantly feeling inadequate.

I wish you cared more about the Czech Republic, its fashion culture and connection to national identity.

I wish your life was more organized so that you'd be in here by now. I also hope you're not settling, but as long as he's a good guy, I guess it's okay.

I wish you weren't moving. Even though I knew it was inevitable.

I wish you didn't care about being in a relationship so much. You're a lot more fun when you're single.

I wish you cared more about your weight, and what you ate. I wish you'd try fish and eat more chicken, give up the Coke, the candy, the chop meat. I wish you cared more that every day I get worried I'm going to see you drop dead on the subway.

I wish you didn't bitch and moan about your job so much. Yes, you are overqualified in an underpaid, under-appreciated position. But you're the one who always tells that any situation is what you make it. I wish you'd follow your own advice.

I wish you weren't such an asshole to people. People like you whether or not you're an asshole. I also know that deep, down inside, you're not really an asshole. So why do you act like one?

I wish you had just answered my questions.

I wish that you'd call me. There's so much I have to tell you. There's so much you have to tell me.

I wish you'd shower more often. Because then I would consider dating you.

I wish you didn't sound like such a bitch every time something came out of your mouth. You have a wealth of knowledge, people could really benefit from it.

I wish the train didn't "cock-block" me so much, because then we could hang out more. I really like spending time with you guys and doing cultural things.

I wish you'd quite your job. I also wish I understood why you haven't already.

I wish you would just be yourself. It's why I became friends with you in the first place.

Sometimes, I wish you didn't have a girlfriend, even though I like the girlfriend you have right now. I guess really, I wish there were more guys like you out there.